What is more powerful than a father's love?
Drugs.
What is more powerful than a mother's devotion?
Drugs.
What is more powerful than Maternal instinct?
drugs
What is more powerful than love of self?
Drugs.
After more than a year of absolutely no contact with my daughter, R, I got a call from my ex yesterday. The minute I heard her voice, the bottom of my stomach went down a couple of feet. This could not be good.
Was R. dead? My first thought.
In the hospital, O.D, in jail?
Not yet.
Had a fight with the a-hole she lives with, and he got physical with her and is in jail supposedly. (I have seen her when she is coming down and she is meaner than a snake in the blind.)
Did she call me?
No
She knows that as long as she is choosing drugs over caring for her son, I want nothing to do with her. So she tries to get her mother to do her dirty work for her.
I have bought into this so many times that I should have it down by now.
Will I drive up to Everett and get her? NO. No Christmas call, no father's day call, no birthday card or call. Nothing.
A relationship is supposed to go both ways. I need to get something out of it other than pain.
I decline to participate in her self mutilation. I will net be an enabler.
But it still makes me feel like shit.
4 comments:
The fact that you are doing the absolute right thing does not make it any easier. I am sorry.
Thanks. It is a struggle.
I second what NCP said. Sometimes, the greatest sign of love is to walk away.
That's the sucky part of parenting. I'm so sorry.
Renn: Thanks. I have been through it enough times that you'd think I'd be immune by now, but it still sucks.
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