Flashback

Today is Carol's birthday, and the beginning of a hectic week, but it always brings to mind the same week, two years ago.

Saturday will be our second aniversary We met on August 24th, 2002. We went out to Jazz Alley to see Karrin Allyson. I had the new york steak, she had salmon. The show was great,a good time was had by all. It started a wild ride that culminated with our marriage on April the 9th 2003. It was quite a ride in between, and afterward as far as that goes. I won't say it was love at first site, but damn close.

In January, when we came back to my place after spending the day down at her place in Bonney Lake, we walked in to find that my house had been burglarized. I am not a person that places a great deal of value in "stuff", but there was one thing that was stolen that cause my heart do drop to the bottom of my stomach.

I had just spent weeks going to every jewelry store in the south end of Seattle, as well as a couple in North Tacoma to find the perfect engagement ring. After spending over $5,ooo.oo on an absolutely perfect 3/4 carat diamond, I was denied the privelege of asking Carol to marry me in the regular way, because she was sitting right there on the couch when I gave the burglary report to the police. She didn't have any idea that I had bought a ring, and here I was telling the police that it had been stolen. As much as it bothers me that we were burglarized, what really pissed me off was that I lost that one and only opportunity to ask her without her expecting it. Of course the fact that I had just purchased it, and it was not on my homeowners insurance was bad, but it wasn't the money it was the loss of the moment that angered me.

It is really strange, but the only thing that was recovered was the engagement ring. I guess that some things were just meant to happen.

We set a Date for April 9th. Since we are both over 50, and have both been married before, we didn't want to make any big deal of it, so we just made a date with a judge.

The Sunday before we were to be married, we were down visiting her dughter Lisa, who was seven months pregnant. When we were leaving she told Carol that somethng didn't feel right, and she was going to see the doctor on Monday.

Carol got the call at work, and the baby wasn't showing any vital signs. They would be taking the baby on Wednesday after running a bunch of tests and who knows what else. Carol stayed with her daughter on Tuesday, and I joined her at the hospital on Wednesday. I was there in the delivery room when they took little Xavier from his mothers womb, and I stood in the halway with Carol in my arms as she sobbed and wanted the know "WHY??". I held the perfectly formed little body in my hands and asked the same question. They never did figure out why he died. There wasn't anything wrong that they could determine as a cause of death. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

So we were faced with a delima. Do we go ahead with the wedding?

We decided that the right thing to do was the right thing to do, regardless of the circumstances. If you allow yourself to be steered away from the path every time you face adversity in life, you will go nowhere and achieve nothing.

We spent the night on a cot in the Hospital, to be there for Lisa, got up early, went to my place, got dressed, met the judge and got married. Grieving and rejoicing at the same time. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and did some of both.

In life, you can ride the merry-go-round and try to be as safe and sane as possible, or you can ride the biggest baddest roller-coaster you can find, and hang on tight in the corner, be there for each other, and scream your lungs out. I don't believe in taking the safe path.

If life is like a car race, you should come throught the last turn in a four wheel drift, jump out of the car, exhausted and thrilled to the core, and yell "WHAT A RIDE!!! What's next?"