Other than the trip to Forks with life hasn't been a whole lot of fun lately.
R. called me up last Friday and the conversation didn't go well. It started out OK, but when I got down to questioning her about what she was doing, she went ballistic, screamed and yelled at me on the phone and finally hung up. After everything I have done for her lately, it really hurt to be told that I didn't love her and couldn't care less what happened to her.
The reasons I was trying to find out what was going on, are that right after I signed for her $5.000.00 line of credit, she quit her job or was fired. When she was over on Father's Day her behavior was pretty erratic. She has stopped seeing her friends, and is hanging out part of the time on Broadway.
All these signs point pretty directly to her being back on Meth. Breaks my heart. she has so much potential, but she is throwing it all in the toilet. She was using once before, but came home, got straight, got a job, moved out, got a car, and everything was looking up for the last couple of years. I guess her recovery was a lot more fragile than I realized.
Anyway, this whole thig has put Mrs A. over the edge. Having so many people dependent on us really puts a strain on her, but she is to the point now that the smallest thing is likely to send her off on a screaming tirade. Monday it was because V. didn't weed whack the front yard, yesterday because L. didn't do a load of towels. The minute the steam starts coming out of her ears, everyone else scatters like a school of fish when a baracuda shows up. Which of course leaves me swimming there all alone looking like lunch.
I am going to call and set up an appointment with a counselor. I hate to see her in such pain. It tears me apart to see her come home and tears start coming up in her eyes.
She and I get along great, and our relationship is good, but things outside our relationship are causing a lot of pressure on both of us.
I would do anything for Mrs A., so this is just a speed bump in the hiway of life, but I hate it when my head keeps hitting the roof.
6 comments:
hang in there al, hold Mrs A's hand and get thru it together.
She needs YOU to be calm and calmly tell her the weeds didnt need wackin that bad, or the laundry didnt need done that instant.
Then get R's ass into treatment, kickin and screamin, if you loves her like I know ya do.
x
doo dah: Thanks for the encouragement. I'll do fine. I am the one that very seldom gets wound up, the island of calm in a sea of chaos.
Plans are already being made. It's just that sometimes I get so TIRED!
Al, buddy, you've got all the resources in the world right in front of you! Morning Light and co. have been there, done that, bought the t-shirts, and gave them away. Don't try to do this alone. Talk to us.
Thanks Rick. It's something Carol and I have already talked about. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Al, sorry things are not fun. I have seen so many lives ruined by drugs. We played hardball with my brothers demanding they go into treatment, get help, etc etc etc but in the end none of it worked. One of my brothers has been clean for 10 years but the other will probably toggle between clean and using for the rest of his life. It comes down to choice. You and Mrs. A are such good parents and hopefully the kids will start handling their own affairs. V is still a child and will be with you for a while but the others are grown and parents themselves so they should understand what a strain it puts on a household when you make such demands or don't do your share. I'm praying for you and your family. I hope Mrs. A gets something to smile about this week. It sounds like she could really use it.
I'm doing what I can for Mrs A. I cooked dinner last night (Grilled checken and sausage) served it for her and made sure everyone took care of their chores, and sent L & N & K down to the park. I also set up counseling for us. Now if I can just hook up R with someone to get her head straightened out....
Had a good long talk with V. and he is doing better.
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