SHOCKER II

Once I got started down this path, There was no turning back. Men, electricity and shocking results.

On the farm, the pasture was a half mile long with electric fences all around and separating the sections. So it was a couple of miles of electric fence. We had what was called a "Brushcutter" fence.

With that much fence, it was hard to keep up with the maintenance. Grass would grow up and touch the fence and short it out. One option was to send out one of us kids to trim the grass. The other was to upgrade to the "Brushcutter".

Electric fences are pulsed, like they are being turned on and off. The strength of the pulse is determined by the transformer. In a "Brushcutter" that pulse is strong enough that if the fence is brushed by a grass stem, it will cut it in two. It gives quite a jolt.

As kids we would fool around with the fence. We would see if we could jump up in the air, grab the fence and let go again before we touched the Ground. There was no faking it if you falied. I felt like you had been hit with the Cosmic Karma hammer.
When we were out in the field, sometimes you wouldn't know if the fence was on or off, so the best way to find out was to very quickly touch the fence with the back of your hand. You used the back of your hand, because the current could make your hand clench.

The worst I ever got was one day when I was fishing across the road. I was standing calf deep in the creek and reached up to grab a bush to help me get out, and grabbed the hot wire. I swear my hair was standing on end, smoking when I got to the bank.

When I got my draft notice, another friend got his at the same time, so we threw a big going away party. This was in Seattle just South of the Airport. One of our friends was renting a small house of about 800 sq. ft.. We packed that house full. It was an isolated house, with no near neighbors. His landlord lived next door, but on the other side of a horse pasture.

The house was crammed, and of course only had one bathroom. One of the advantages of being male it that the world is your bathroom. The ladies used the bathroom, the guys a comvenient tree.

I was in the back bedroom making out with my girlfriend when I heard this very loud roar from the front yard followed by a lot of laughter.

It was my friend Dave, who was jumping up and dowm bellowing at the top of his lungs and holding on to his whanger, which was flopping up and down. Now, Dave was a 6' 8" beanpole, and the sight of him jumping up and down bellowing was hilarious.

It seems he went a little farther out into the yard (Out of modesty?) to tke a piss than the other guys had. Because he had been drinking, he failed to see the single strand of silver wire.

I can see every male who reads this cringing. Probably along with some serious shrinkage.

That's right, Dave has pissed on the neighbor's electric fence.

Later he said it felt like he had burned the last couple of inched off of his works.

At the moment I was laughing too hard to ask.