I was going over to pick up my daughter yesterday so she could do laundry and cut my hair. As I went along the way, I passed a house that had several cop cars and a couple of TV crews. The house was cordoned off with crime tape. They were still there when I came home.
We turned on the news when we got home, and found out that one of Vs classmates had murdered his grandmother. We are talking a 13 year old kid here. It raises all sorts of questions for which I have no answers.
What drives a 13 year old to kill? Medical evidence says that the frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to develop. Therefore teenagers are only marginally capable of rational thought. My personal observations agree pretty closely with this. Neighbors say he complained that his Grandma wouldn't let him go out and play until he did his homework. Yesterday was the first day on Spring and a beautiful day. Sounds like ample reasons for killing your Grandma to me!
Do you try him as an adult? Tough one to call. Some 13 year olds are just little kids, some are pretty mature. The law suggests that if you are capable of formulating a plan and executing it, you can be tried as an adult. If you try a 13 year old as an adult and he is convicted, you have put him in the great garbage can of society. The chance he can ever become a functioning member of society is so slim as to be non-existent. But if you try him as a juvenile, he basically gets away with murder. He goes to some summer camp of a detention facility for a couple of years,, gets counseling and gets out at 18. Has he been punished and rehabilitated? Or has he been taught how to be a more effective criminal?
V. has this great underlying rage. There are times you can see it peeking out from under his actions. He is a pretty passive kid, but if you are observant, it is pretty obvious. The fact that he is failing two classes is because he doesn't like the classes and teachers. Not doing or turning in his homework is a direct manifestation of his anger.
So Thursday night he gave me his latest progress report. Two Fs. I asked him to explain to me why he was failing, but he couldn't or wouldn't explain. So Friday night I made him sit down with a blank piece of paper, and told him he needed to explain to me why he was failing. He told me he didn't want to. I told him I really didn't care if he wanted to or not, he was going to. After that it only took a couple more hours to get him to actually DO anything. At the end he wrote a half a page. It scared the crap out of me. Such vitriol!
It would be just peachy keen fine with him if the majority of his classmates would die, and he wouldn't do a thing to prevent it. Might even help initiate it. Ditto for some of his teachers. I knew there was this underlying rage, but I had no idea it was this pervasive.
At any rate I called up our Health Care Provider yesterday and set up for him to see a Psychologist at an Adolescent Treatment Facility. I am not forcing this on him, this is something he has agreed to. He knows he is unhappy and angry, but has no idea what to do about it.
Maybe they can give him some answers.
2 comments:
Wow...that's some scary stuff indeed.
You know, I suffered from plenty of angst in school...but I never felt all that rage. I wonder what causes that? I mean, it truly perplexes me.
Hope the doctors can help V. Keep us posted?
He has issues with female authority figures. His mom was declared an unfit parent when he was five, so he came to live with me and the truely evil Mrs A. She made it abundantly clear she had no intention of taking care of him, so I divorced her. For a while he went and lived with his dad and his new wife, and she couldn't handle him so sent him back to live with us. There have been some adjustment problems with Mrs A. but things are smoothing out now.
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