Dust Bunnies

When I was stumbling down the aisle on my way to get jump started with a 20 0z. Diet Coke this morning, I was viciously attacked by a commando dust bunny. I thought he resembled the head of Osama Bin Missing. Luckily the adrenalin rush keyed up my response and I not only escaped serious injury, I eliminated the threat for the good of my fellow countrymen.

This is not the first time I have withstood attack by forces of unsuspected and misunderstood nature.

When I was not as rational and mature as I am now I was once attacked by a force of nature that was unsuspected.

I love watching cheap horror movies. I don't know what impulse it is that drives me to always look under the rock to see what lurks there, but said impulse is a part of my nature.

Back when I was having one of my "Unassisted by a female presence" periods in my life, I was staying up late watching horror movies. What movie I was watching escapes me, but it was a classic. Perhaps "Atom Man Vs the Mole People", or maybe "Godzilla Vs MechniKong".

The house was silent except for the settling noises a house makes at night to get revenge on the owners. I caught a motion out of the corner of my eye.

As I turned my head to look. It was a very large dust bunny comeing out from under a chair. It start moving towards me. Neither one of those things was by itself alarming. I mean, dust bunnys bred under every piece of furniture, and occasionally a breeze would inspire wanderlust in one and it would set off in search of a new lair.

What was disturbing is that THERE WAS NO BREEZE!

As I watched I saw the mutant dust bunny deliberately move towards me! Yes, It was moving by it's free will. In other words IT WAS ALIVE!!!!!

As my heart beat faster and my palms started sweating, in an act of foolish bravado I got off of the couch and got down on the floor to look more closely, knowing full well that I was exposing my jugular to whatever freak of nature lurked there by the telephone table. Oh shit, it was trying to cut me off from the phone!

Heedless of my danger, I got close enough to inspect it

It was mouse gray, and about three inches in diameter. It lunged forward towards my exposed flesh, and I jumped back.

Retreating to the kitchen, I got a chopstick, and came back and with trepidation and trembling hands, poked at it.

It jumped in a frenzy of activity, trying to make it under the telephone table.

Thinking quickly and using my lightning fast reflexes, I got an empty mayonaise jar and and dropped it over my ferocious invader, and put the lid on.

Holding up the jar I looked at its underside, trying to figure out what manner af predator had invaded my sanctuary.

It had webbed feet and toe pads.

A light came on, and I started to laugh.

My son had been raiseing tree frogs in his room. One of them had disappeared a couple of days ago.

In an effort to bluff his way out of the house, he had built himself a gillie suit out of volunteer dust bunnies, who readily attached themselves to his slimy sides so they could make a break for it.

It was their unfortunate luck to run into me, standiing guard over home and family.

The frog was cleaned and returned to Froggie Bottom Detention Facility, where his sentence was extended to life.

The recalcitrant dust bunnies did not fare so well. I destroyed them and their sanctuary.

Ever since, I have been concerned that they were out for revenge.