Mrs. A. and I were in this e-mail war yesterday. Things worked out eventually, but it took basically all day to work things out. It took me forever to get a handle on what was going on. The twists of logic it took were Byzantine to say the least. It goes this way:
On Saturday,we went over to Mrs. A.s sisters. It was Mrs. A.s nephews birthday. On the way we stopped at Starbucks to get a gift card. Of course, Mrs A, had left all her money and credit cards at home, so I had to pay.
When I got my wallet out, Mrs A. noticed that I had a picture of my grandson in my wallet. As we arrived, she asked "Does it hurt you that I don't have a relationship with your kids?"
"Yeah, it bothers me you can't get along with them."
Wrong answer. I implied that she might have been at least partially at error.
That started off three days of unpleasantness.
We had a decent time at her sis's place.
Going to Church on Sunday, she started in on me. I asked her why she was trying to pick a fight, and got the usual female answers "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you" Very prickly day on Sunday.
Then a shitstorm of e-mails yesterday.
You don't understand. I have been hurt, you never listen to me, you think more of your daughter than you do me, blah, blah, blah.
Your daughter comes around all the time. You will come and go at her beck and call, but my daughter won't come around at all. I think she is afraid of R. and her friends.
The AHA! moment.
She hasn't seen or heard from her daughter in a couple of months. The last couple of times L. called was before Christmas, and Mrs A. refused to talk to her.
She had seen the picture of my grandson, The Inevitable E., then seen her sis's family in a nice birthday party, which got her to thinking about her daughter and her grandkids.
I sent her back a VERY carefully worded e-mail pointing out that the very last words out of L.s mouth as she left were "I miss my mom, I want my mom back"
It's too bad they don't have a phone, and we don't have their address, or I would bundle Mrs A. into the Blazer and hold her captive and drive her down to Puyallup to see the kids.
But the logic chain I had to go down to get to what was really wrong was exhausting.
7 comments:
Dude, I feel your pain, but you have GOT to change the title of this entry! Do it. Do it NOW. And then call the therapist back. Mrs. A wasn't ready to stop. ;-)
Rick:On advice of counsel, I have reconsidered the title, and revised it to something less inflamatory.
Okay...I'm late, dammit. Was it a good title? Bad? What??? WHAT????
Things would be SO much easier if we just said what we meant....and not beat around the bush so much.
Did you by chance happen to catch that new show last night "Rules of Engagement"? It was pretty cute. This long time married couple were arguing because the wife was pissed because of something her husband did....he asked "Why are you mad?" and she gave him the old "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you....figure it out yourself!"
ARGH!
Stacy: Didn't have the opportunity to watch TV last night. I was helping R. move a bunch of her stuff over to her mom's. Grabbed some grunions and toddled of to zzzville.
Let's just say that the title didn't beat around the bush.
Al, your blog is good therapy for me. It's a constant reminder that it's good to be single again! ;-)
Michael: I do remember.
Oooookay...I get it!
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