Some people say that life (or God) keep giving you the opportunity to suceed at things. If you have trouble with patience, you will be presented with lots of chances to learn. If you have trouble tolerating stupidity, you will be sent a plethora of idiots. You get the idea.
The hone rang yesterday and it was R.
She needed help.
She is losing her place to live, and doesn't have the means of finding something else right away, so she wants to come home. The last time we tried this, it did not go well. She was taking drugs, bringing people around that I did not want in my house, and generally acting like she DESERVED TO BE TREATED LIKE ROYALTY. It eventually deteriorated to a real nasty mess and thngs were said and done that can't ever be unsaid or undone. But we have gotten past them, and things now are going fairly well.
It is really up to Mrs A. She was the one that was attacked verbally and phisically. She has agreed to let R. stay TEMPORARILY. We need too sit down and draw up a set of rules. Our house, our rules. Nothing big, just no drugs, no druggies, take care of yoour share of the ess, help around the house, that sort of stuff. And set a time table. Mrs A. and I have agreed that 90 days is enough time to figure something out. We won't throw them out on the 91st day or anything, it is just a framework.
Mrs A. will love having a little one around to snuggle. And "i" is too small to get into stuff and cause much trouble, as long as R. takes reasonable care of him. I might be able to turn my daughter away, but never the baby. He seems like such a quiet and cheeful little guy. I'm sure he has his moments, though.
So we will clean out the spare room, make a space in our lives, and attemp to go around this mountain one more time. I love my daughter a bunch, and I really hope that things work out. It is a chance to grow closer and heal old wounds.
9 comments:
Good luck with this Al, I can't imagine how it must feel having to deal with something like this. My oldest will leave the nest in about a year (he'll be a senior when school starts back up) so I suspect I'll eventually learn ;-)
Wow...good luck, Al. I'm having some issues with my own (step) kid this week. Must be something in the air???
Always the optimist. Good luck with that.
Michael:Things have gone pretty well, so why not throw one more club in the juggling act?
PQ: I read your entry today. Hey, at least it was 50/50.
Rick: Optimist? Me? They say one definition of crazy is doing exactly the same thing and expecting a different result. Crazy? Yeah. I can live with crazy.
I wish you all good luck, patience and understanding. Maybe "i" will be a healing touch? I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you all!
Sarah: Thanks, so do I. There are many positive things that could come from this.
And a couple of disasters.
Wow. Some things, like market-related job loss, increased prices, etc can really throw a monkey wrench into our lives. They're beyond our control.
Credit to you and Mrs. A. for seeing this as a second (or two-thousandth) chance for R to regroup.
Additional credit for creating rules and terms ahead of time. May this time be the one that really works.
Good luck and God speed.
Renn: Thanks. We went to some counseling sessions, and we learned a few things, like setting boundaried and rules beforehand so no one is confused or can take advantage. And now that R. has a kid to think of, her attitude seems to have changed a quite a bit.
Keeping fingers and toes crossed for ya!
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