I called up R. yesterday, something I have been puting off. I got the cell phone bill and she had gone over her minutes.
By $100.00.
I have been paying her cell phone bill because I wanted to leave a communication channel open.
SHe didn't answer the phone, so I left her a message, and a warning. Basically, I said "Why would I pay a hundred bucks a month for your cell phone so you can call up and leave me obscene voice mails?"
She called back and cussed me up one side and down the other. It seems I ma responsible for every bad thing she has ever done, have never treated her fairly, am the major cause of world hunger and a walking disease vector. Then hung up.
Even I have my stopping point. I have finally had it. If your right hand is infected and no longer is any good to you and only spreads poison in your body, you aputate it.
When Mrs A and I were going to counseling, the counselor said something that stuck in my brain: "You need to examine your relationships. How much am I investing in them, and what am I getting back?"
Not hard to total the accounts here.
So I called up the cell phone company and had her phone shut off.
I will no longer accept the abuse she heaps on me. I have been poised at the edge awaiting any sign she is changing, and all I get is another face full of spit. She says she is exiting , and I am now ready to let her go.
But it still hurts.
On the other hand I got home and told L. about what had happened, and that I wanted to sit in the corner with my laptop and kill stuff. SHe and her boyfriend disappeared. They came back with an Oberto hard dry Salami, and sai "This is for you, but you have to share."
They also bought a jigsaw puzzle, which they know I love to do. We all sat down and worked on the puzzle together. It was great. I went fromsimmering rage and pain to comfortable and knowing that some of the work I have done has born fruit.
When I was at a low point, and everything looked black, the Lord showed me the other side of the coin. My own little miniature version of "It's a Wonderful Life".
7 comments:
Difficult decisions for sure, maybe R needs to see that you're willing to cut her loose in order to come to her senses. Sometimes, people have to hit bottom before they open their eyes.
Michael: She wants to opt out, that's her decision. I have left the door open, but to come in she needs to learn a few things. I need to show her I will not take any more abuse.
We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it. Count your blessings and move on.
R comes across as what we call in our family, soul suckers. They suck every bit of life we have left within us, and when we have nothing left to give, they go away.
I hope R sees all you have done, soon. Some people eventually come around. Until then, I hope you surround yourself with the likes of L and her boyfriend. :)
Rick: Right on brother. Lots of good things going on. Just as long as I stay focused
no-newz: She can light up a room when she is "ON", or suck the life out of it when she's down.
I'm pretty sure she will come around eventually, but Im not going to stand around taking abuse until she does.
I'm sorry for what R is putting you through.
However, I LOVE L and her mate for 'taking matters into their own hands' and helping you through.
This must be in the air. My co-worker has a son much like R, and he 'flipped out' last night.
Renn: I've been avoiding this confrontation for a long time because I was pretty certain how it would turn out.
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