It was widely reported this morning that the sky was falling.
A mysterious crystaline substance appeared on the roofs and hoods of parked cars. It was never seen to fall from the sky, but early indicators lead experts to believe it fell somehow from the sky.
Upon application of heat, this mysterious substance DISAPPEARS! Many believe this is the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. Religious zealots claim it the first sign of the Apocalypse, comparing it to the "Mana" described in the Bible.
Global warming theorists claim that the mysterious substance is causing an imbalance in the Ozone and will lead to global warming. The mysterious substance seems to generate cold around it, causing people to turn to desparate means to keep warm. The particulates released by these alternate sources of heat are poisonous to humand and animals. If inhaled in relatively minor concentrations, they can cause unconsciousness, and even death.
This intrepid reporter, throwing caution to the winds, and at great personal risk, improvised a substance removal tool. If not removed from the viewing ports this substance is known to cause blindness, and in extreme cases, mortal injury.
Coming next: Fog. Will it really eat your face?
8 comments:
Dude, pass it around. I want summa whatever yer smokin'! On a side note, I fired up the ol' wood stove this mornin'... first time this year.
Rick: Translation.... I had to scrape ice from the windows of the car this morning.
Hey now... don't mess with that face-eating fog!
NCP: We've had a thermal inversion here for the last couple days, so they are asking for people not to light their fireplaces or wood stoves. Sensitive people should avoid outside activities. Beware the face eating fog!
Ah. You have the same newscasters as we do in Raleigh, NC.
Renn: I think they all attend the Chicken Little school of broadcasting.
It just goes to show that you should be living in Oregon...its a lot healthier here.
Miss you cousin. Hope all is well.
Ginger
CUZ: If it wasn't such a long comute, I might be tempted.
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