Me and My Big Mouth

I mentioned in my post yeasterday that I just might be a Smartass.

My smart mouth has gotten me in considerable trouble over the years.

Here is an example:

In the early months of 1967, my friend Dave and I decided to move to San Francisco and become hippies.

On the way down, we stopped at his Aunt and Uncles place in Oroville, Cal. They put us up for the weekend.

We had just gotten out of High School (and were on our way to a different kind of high scool). He had a female cousin who was a senior, and it was Girls League night at the bowling lanes, so we went to say hi to his cousin and all the girls. There were all sorts of possibilities.

The next day, Dave's Aunt was in a traffic accident and wrenched her back, and could not drive. It was her day in the car pool to drive the girls home from school.

Would we mind giving the girls a ride home from school? Oh it would be a terreible burden to give a ride home to a car full of nubile young ladies , but we were just the guys for it.

We were driving Dave's taxi-cab yellow custom Plymouth. (Think Christine in hysteria)

We drove over to the school, and waited in the parking lot.

The Police pulled in behind us. The officer motioned that Dave should roll down his window. Dave complied.

"Did you know it is against the law in the State of California to loiter on School Property."

He had noticed that we were sporting Washington plates. That and the car itself made us mighty suspicious. Not to mention our long hair and paisley pants.

Well, me and my big smartass mouth replied "According to Webster's Dictionary, Loiter is defined as to consume time idly and without purpose. We, however, are here with a very specific purpose." Oh why do I do it? Some times I am my own worst enemy.

The officer turned several interresting shades of red, tending towards purple.

He informed us that we had better get out and not look back.

So I had to ask "You see that street over there? if we go park on the other side of the street, is that School Property, or public domain?"

He turned an interresting shade of puce and ordered us to leave NOW!!!

So we went and parked across the street and were immediately arrested. Handcuffs. Back of the patrol car. Fingerprinted. The big holding cell door went CLANG!. One call, wait four hours to get bailed out.

All charges were dropped and we pleaded probable cause so we couldn't sue for false arrest.

One of the girls we were to give a ride home was the Prosecuting Attorney's daughter, and he was NOT happy about her having to find an alternative ride home.

That is the extent of my arrest record.

And I could have probably avoided that except for my big smartass mouth.

Did I learn from this experience?

Hell no.