Armegeddon wasn't as bad as predicted.
Every year the cops put on a big show exploding things to "Show the potential damage" from various explosive devices. It is just a thinly disguised excuse to make things go "BOOM!!"
My favorite was a tennis ball bomb they stuffed in a watermellon and lit it off. It was spectacular.
So don't mind me if my attention wanders. I only had about 4 hours of sleep last night. The fireworks didn't slow down enough for me to go to sleep until after Midnight.
Then at 4:00 the phone rang. Mrs. A. got the phone, and it was for me. It was a woman I had met a couple of times a couple of years ago (Prior to Mrs A). She was intoxicated. She wanted to know what I was doing.
I told her "Trying to sleep". Not one to take a hint, she went on to start some tale of woe in which she needed a ride someplace or the other. I just told her I couldn't help her.
I think she wanted some mayonaise for her meatlof.
Of course Mrs A was all "WHO WAS THAT WOMAN AND WHY IS SHE CALLING YOU AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING??????"
I explained that she was someone I had met several years before and didn't know very well, and I had no idea what inspired her to call me at zero dark thirty.
Mrs A. wanted to know how old she was, soI told her "A well used late forty-something". She said "She sounded much older on the phone, like in her eighties. If you are going to cheat on me you could at least do it with someone better than that!"
I reassured her that I had never cheated on her, was not now cheating on her and was not likely to ever cheat on her in the future.
She asked "Even with a tall willowy blond with big hooters?"
"No dear, blonds don't float my boat." I knew this was not the correct answer, but I couldn't resist.
"Not even with a tall willowy Asian redhead with big hooters?"
"No dear, I don't think there is any such thing." Again, not the correct answer. I knew what she was fishing for, but I was going to make her work for it.
She smacked me on the arm.
Mt twisted sense of humor gets me in too much trouble.
4 comments:
Ha!
At least she knows that you're faithful.
..."Well used late forties"?
Most excellent answer.
Renn: I didn't go as far as the traditional "Looked like she been rode hard and put away wet."
I'd have been pretty ticked too if some chick called The PK that late too!
And The PK is all ABOUT liking blondes. How he ever ended up with me, I'll never know!
And you're not alone....I think there were lots of us dragging our tired asses to work yesterday! :)
PQ: The PK lucked out.
I was drooling in the keyboard by the ned of the day.
Post a Comment